Nadia’s Blog

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A matter of soul? April 21, 2009

Filed under: thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 2:04 am
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It’s 4 in the morning here and I just can’t sleep. And I have to be up in three hours to go to college. Wonderful.

I haven’t written recently, I’m just so…lost. It’s like in the majority of time I only want time to pass quickly, quicker than it does. I feel like I’m totally empty and I have nothing to pour on paper. To be honest if only I would I could, but I’m too confused to organize my thoughts. I feel like I’m falling but I can’t see the bottom. And I’m trying to grasp on anything, but it doesn’t last enough and I find myself falling again. I’ve always wondered if it’s a feature of every kind of artistic soul to feel in the extreme, because if it is, as I think it is, I have to say that sometimes it sucks. I often think that my soul is a curse. Do you, artistic souls, ever feel like this or is it only me?

 

Night Writing April 10, 2009

Filed under: poetry,thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 8:53 pm
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Do you write in the deep of the night? I do. And in the morning I forgot I wrote something. So I usually happen to stumble across things I wrote and be surprised. Which is funny, because I surprise myself! I always feel like “Did I write this? When?” and then “Ahh, yes, I remember!”

Anyway, this is a little poem I’ve just found in the files of my computer under the name “night”, I wrote it a few nights ago.

 

 

I follow the night

Fighting

In a flood of moonlight

Owls eyes

All around

Unnatural silence

I can’t hear a sound

Intriguing shadows

In the corners of my view

Under my eyes

Purple smiles

Of sleep goodbye

The air is pure

Still I choke

Nothing is real

Still everything feels too close

My hands

White trembling spiders

In the silver light

My feet quivering

I’m swallowing darkness

How much will I hold on

Before I succumb

To my hatred soul

Wrong and right

Right and wrong

I keep wondering

But I will never know

 

Writing Therapy April 9, 2009

Filed under: thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 3:59 pm
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I’m debating if I should begin to write a journal (not here on the blog, but just for me!), not because I have a  terrible short memory, but because sometimes life goes crazy and you feel so..well, let’s say not good, very confused. So since when I write I succeed in forgetting whatever is bugging me, I thought, in order to help myself, to write a journal. A writing therapy. Whenever I put my thoughts in words on paper I feel better, even if I’m not writing about my life, it is like the burden on my shoulders get lighter, and it helps me understand. How do you feel about it?

 

Plotting April 1, 2009

Filed under: inspiration,writing — nadia888 @ 6:55 pm
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I was thinking about a story recently, but it was just piecies and bits, nothing coherent..then the other day I was on the bus and boom! Suddenly all the pieces went together and my story was shaped! When I got home (it was very hard paying attention at university, my mind just kept exploring the possibilities) I began to plot and write write write and didn’t stop until 2 a.m. I swear to myself  I will not begin to write the story until it is clear and perfectly outlined in my head. I usually have troubles with commitment…let’s just say that I have abandoned my works more than once, only because I thought they weren’t worth reading. This time I really do want to write it till the end, and to know all its little details and secrets BEFORE I write it down.

I’m pretty proud right now, not because of the story, just because I cooked! I’m not the world greatest cook, you see, but this evening I made a wonderful dinner for my parents made of curry chicken and rice…simple (well, not that simple for me) but very good!