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A matter of soul? April 21, 2009

Filed under: thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 2:04 am
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It’s 4 in the morning here and I just can’t sleep. And I have to be up in three hours to go to college. Wonderful.

I haven’t written recently, I’m just so…lost. It’s like in the majority of time I only want time to pass quickly, quicker than it does. I feel like I’m totally empty and I have nothing to pour on paper. To be honest if only I would I could, but I’m too confused to organize my thoughts. I feel like I’m falling but I can’t see the bottom. And I’m trying to grasp on anything, but it doesn’t last enough and I find myself falling again. I’ve always wondered if it’s a feature of every kind of artistic soul to feel in the extreme, because if it is, as I think it is, I have to say that sometimes it sucks. I often think that my soul is a curse. Do you, artistic souls, ever feel like this or is it only me?

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Night Writing April 10, 2009

Filed under: poetry,thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 8:53 pm
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Do you write in the deep of the night? I do. And in the morning I forgot I wrote something. So I usually happen to stumble across things I wrote and be surprised. Which is funny, because I surprise myself! I always feel like “Did I write this? When?” and then “Ahh, yes, I remember!”

Anyway, this is a little poem I’ve just found in the files of my computer under the name “night”, I wrote it a few nights ago.

 

 

I follow the night

Fighting

In a flood of moonlight

Owls eyes

All around

Unnatural silence

I can’t hear a sound

Intriguing shadows

In the corners of my view

Under my eyes

Purple smiles

Of sleep goodbye

The air is pure

Still I choke

Nothing is real

Still everything feels too close

My hands

White trembling spiders

In the silver light

My feet quivering

I’m swallowing darkness

How much will I hold on

Before I succumb

To my hatred soul

Wrong and right

Right and wrong

I keep wondering

But I will never know

 

Writing Therapy April 9, 2009

Filed under: thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 3:59 pm
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I’m debating if I should begin to write a journal (not here on the blog, but just for me!), not because I have a  terrible short memory, but because sometimes life goes crazy and you feel so..well, let’s say not good, very confused. So since when I write I succeed in forgetting whatever is bugging me, I thought, in order to help myself, to write a journal. A writing therapy. Whenever I put my thoughts in words on paper I feel better, even if I’m not writing about my life, it is like the burden on my shoulders get lighter, and it helps me understand. How do you feel about it?

 

I just had to write this March 30, 2009

Filed under: inspiration,poetry,writing — nadia888 @ 1:50 am
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Sudden inspiration. I was on youtube watching random videos and I happened to see a clip of Little Ashes in which Salvador Dalì, brush in hand, is looking at Federico Garcia Lorca writing, there was something in this scene that stroke me, I don’t know what or why but I had to write about it, and even before the clip ended the poem was already in my head. I wrote it first in italian, and then did my best to translate it in english, because I just felt I had to write it in both languages.

 

I feel him

pacing

back and forth

behind me

staring at me

writing

I feel him

his gaze brushing my skin

tracing patterns of fire

looking at me

looking trough me

for my soul

The pencil ready

in the writhing hand

to catch my essence

 

I’m glad you liked it! 🙂

Since Hwalk asked, I’ll post the original version in italian too:

 

 

 

Lo sento

dietro di me

osservarmi

mentre scrivo

Lo sento

camminare inquieto

alle mie spalle

Lo sento

la mia pelle brucia

dove l’intensità del suo sguardo

la sfiora

l’ attraversa

in cerca della mia anima

La matita pronta

nella mano fremente

per cogliere la mia essenza

 

 

 

 

 

 

Distracted March 29, 2009

Filed under: thoughts,Uncategorized,writing — nadia888 @ 1:47 pm
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Well, tonight I was awake as usual but I didn’t stumble across interesting thoughts about writing because just a few hours before I had booked a holiday in Egypt! I was/am so excited! My mind wouldn’t think anything deeper than the words “coral reef, fish, sun, pyramids, relax, fun,…” and when I tried to think of something else the word egypt jumped out in the middle of everything: “I’m going to take – egypt – a shower”, “Mom, where – egypt – are my jeans?”, “what would you – egypt – like to eat?” Ahah, just give me a couple of days and I will be back to normal. 🙂

The only thoughts I had about writing were: ohhh, I can’t wait to write looking at the sunset on the Red Sea…I want to write about the nightsky in the desert….I wish I could write underwater while snorkeling, to describe all the wonderful exotic fishes! So, really, not very deep or interesting.

If I have time today, or tomorrow, I’ll dig in my room and my closet because I’m sure I wrote something in english on paper but I’m very disarranged (I’m not sure it is the right word, what I mean is that my room is unkept), so since my night was almost thoughtless I’ll have something meaningful to post.

 

Inspiration March 28, 2009

Filed under: book advice,inspiration,thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 1:28 pm
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I’m sleepy…last night I read City of Glass until 4, but I had to know how it ended! I have to say that I’m usually disappointed by the last book of a series, for perhaps the first time I am not. So if you like the fantasy genre I suggest you The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare, it is very well written and the story is amazing, especially the last book which is perfect.

Of course when I closed the book I didn’t sleep and my brain began to buzz as usual, what kept me awake this time was Inspiration, its meaning and behavior. Have you ever thought a plot, a story for a book and then decided not to write it? I have, more than once. What surprised me is that I saw that someone else, after a couple of years, had published the story I was thinking about and abandoned (of course not exaclty, just the basic idea). So now I’m wondering, inspiration strikes at the weirdest times and I often don’t remember what I was doing or what exaclty inspired me when a story comes to my head. Are the stories already there waiting for being discovered? So that if you abandoned them, they’ll look for someone else who will tell them to the world? I’ve always felt that planning a plot is like putting together the pieces of a puzzle, but what if it is like baring the puzzle piece by piece?

As usual I’m not sure this makes sense, just another errant sleepy thought.

 

Writing…in music March 27, 2009

Filed under: languages,music,thoughts,writing — nadia888 @ 2:18 pm
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First of all: thank you very much for your comments and advice, I really appreciated them and I’ll keep them in mind while writing! And I’m glad my english is understandable!

Tonight I was thinking -instead of sleeping like a normal person (which explains why this morning I didn’t wake up and miss my early lesson at university) – about writing and languages, and languages and music. I know it seems to someone that they’re distant but they really aren’t. I usually read in the original language of the book, it’s some kind of rule because I just can’t stand translations, they change the primary rhythm and refinement so the story loses part of its magic. I even found myself reading books in languages I don’t know, I remember with great affection when I tried to read Dostoevskij in russian, it was hilarious, of course I give up after a few pages because it was pointless. Note to self: learn russian.

Anyway I think that writing in a particular language make the story flow like a melody, so tonight I found myself wondering about which music could represent best writings in different languages, and I end up with this: I think that english is  very direct and simple, but in the meantime it is rich of details that thanks to its nature aren’t heavy, and flows like a river in a linear simphony with light flourishing notes. French is very dulcet and soothing, it reminds me of a sweet melody, a lullaby. Italian writing is forcibly formal and complicated, it could be compared to lyrical music with its flaunting voice and elaborated notes. German is strong and solid, it reminds me of an angular music composition with zig zag notes and points. Latin is solemn and ancient, nothing can express it better than carmina burana, with its grave voice and sober notes. Spanish is cheerful and playful, it could be compared to a colourful song with great rhythm and passionate notes.

Then I finally fell asleep and my list stopped there. Does it make any sense or I just wasted a good part of my sleep?